When I read this article about the FSU shooter, it stood out to be that the shooter was the product of a contentious divorce.
When these shootings happen, so many people are quick to blame guns. Mental health undoubtedly plays a huge factor. Social media has contributed to the decline of civility. We have lost the ability to disagree in a respectful and civil manner.
How much do broken homes play into these incidents? I ask this question without a shred of judgment, as I have two unsuccessful marriages under my belt (one with a kid involved). That said, divorce is absolutely traumatic when it comes to our kids and their sense of well-being.
That’s not to say one should stay in an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage. We all have the right (and responsibility) to be happy. When parents make the difficult and painful decision to separate and divorce, they frequently forget how difficult that can be for our children to navigate. We can easily overlook how important it is to treat our soon-to-be-estranged spouse with respect and dignity, often placing a vulnerable kid in the middle of the chaos.
There is no singular factor that bears the blame of these mass shootings. I don’t know how to make them cease. Stricter gun laws? More mental health awareness? Getting our kids off social media and away from video games? I wish there was a solution that could help parents feel more comfortable sending their kids off to school without fearing for their lives.
When and if you make the decision to end a marriage, try your hardest to prioritize your kid’s security and comfort. Treat your partner, whom you swore to honor and cherish, with as much patience and compassion as you can muster. Do NOT use your kid as a pawn in some twisted game of chess. Even if this doesn’t help stem the tide of mass shootings, it will certainly help your child, regardless of age, cope with a tenuous and heartbreaking situation.
-Drew Garabo
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