Posted: 3:24 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 2, 2014
By Rodger Sherman
When it comes to fantasy Puppy Bowl, you can't spend enough time researching the players. Don't worry: we've put in the work necessary to help you win your league.
As we told you earlier, there is such a thing as fantasy Puppy Bowl, debuting this year for Puppy Bowl X. Here is the official scorecard from Animal Planet:
You've hopefully come to respect SB Nation as your home for fantasy football coverage, so we won't be letting you down here.
What you want here is to look at each category and think: what's the safest bet?
Touchdowns: You want a fast dog, but most importantly, a dog that won't be stopped
Takeaways: Strength is needed to wrest puppy items from other puppies
Tackles: Strength is needed to tackle puppies
Penalties: Wild card here -- all dogs are going to poop on the field, so don't think about penalties when drafting a fantasy puppy team. Sorta like how you shouldn't draft a kicker until the 13th round.
Therefore, I think it's obvious: when drafting a fantasy puppy bowl team, the most important aspect is SIZE.
Mandy, the dachsund-hound mix?
Not gonna get the job done.
Poppy, the Shih Tzu/Brussels Griffon mix?
Not even worth a 12th-rounder. And there aren't 12 rounds. You only get to pick three dogs.
Sparky, the Yorkshire Terrier?
This puppy is a great pick if you want to lose every week and miss out on your league's playoffs. If you care at all about the sanctity of fantasy puppy bowl, you will not pick this dog.
Bach, the Bermese Mountain Dog mix:
The other half is poodle, so Bach is an interesting combo of size and speed.
Shyla, the Great Pyrenees puppy:
Great Pyrenees dogs are huge, but bred to be agile. This dog is going to rack up points in multiple categories.
And Ginger, the Old English Sheepdog:
AWWWWWWW IT'S SO CUTE
This has been our Fantasy Puppy Bowl analysis. But even if you don't win your league, we're all winners when it comes to Puppy Bowl.